Just Plain Wrong

Ok, so up until now I have been attempting a light-hearted tone because really, in the grand scheme of things, all of the key item pushing, mystery shopping, etc. is just silly and there is no need to get truly upset about it. What is upsetting, is when "customer service" (as all of the silliness is called) gets put before employee well-being. For example:
Employee X is working the register when nature calls and she needs to take a bathroom break. Employee Y is "greeting" customers at the door and there are two more employees reshelving books and any one of them could easily run over to the registers while Employee X runs to the bathroom, but the service manager says "wait". 45 minutes later, Employee X still has not been allowed to leave the registers.

Or take another example:
As in our first example, Employee Y is "greeting" customers at the door. Now this position at the door is viewed as very important for the company because it ensures that everyone is getting acknowledged and offered help within seconds of entering the store. This person is also supposed to recommend key items to everyone that comes in. Super important. However, most people who walk in the door walk past the greeter as fast as their little legs can carry them because they just want to browse for a bit and then ask for help if and when they really need it. If the greeter is helping another customer, or not at the front for some reason, those people who do want help right away, can walk up to the registers and someone can call for customer service, or they could ask one of the people working on reshelving within the store, or the greeter can do a loop around the store and check to see how everyone is doing now and then. In other words, it is not the end of the world if that greeter is not in their spot for a few minutes. However, when Employee Y's stomach starts rumbling and she gets to feeling a bit light-headed because she didn't have quite enough for breakfast (not to mention the fact that breakfast was 5 hours ago) and she asks to take a two minute break to run to the office and grab a snack she is denied. And this even at a moment when there was already another person at the front who could have easily taken over for those two minutes. This isn't even the end of it. Employee Y resigns herself to a rumbling stomach for a while longer after her first request was denied and then is relieved when another employee comes to take over for her. As it turns out though, he was coming to take over so that Employee Y can go to the registers because there are three people in line and god forbid we make them wait for the one cashier who is there already (who by the way is Employee X who still has to pee).
There is no excuse for this shit. I quit.

Mystery Shopping

So a couple of weeks ago, my fellow workers were all abuzz because we had received a 100% score from a mystery shopper. What this means is that somebody comes into the store specifically to test whether or not we employees are doing everything that we are supposed to do. In this case that means greeting them within 6 seconds of entering the store, asking them an open-ended question, helping them find what they are looking for, recommending something in addition to what they are buying that is related, recommending one of the key items (which most of the time is not at all related), telling them our name, thanking them for their purchase, telling them to come back soon. And that's just for the person on the sales floor. The register person then has to tell their name, recommend another item or two, ask them if they want a gift card and/or gift receipt to go with their purchase, make sure they are a Rewards member, thank them for coming, say the customer's name, and tell them to come back soon. Phew! No wonder it is such a feat to get a 100% score.
In the case a couple of weeks ago, the two employees who accomplished this feat were given many pats on the back, kudos, and $25 gift cards to the store. Serious business.
And then, to everyones increased excitement and amazement we received another 100% score last week! Two in one month is suspicious enough, but what made it even more of a conundrum is the fact that sales floor winner was yours truly. When they told me I seriously thought it was a joke. It was early in the morning and they had all been in the store through the night rearranging books so in their delirium an email could have easily been misread.
But sure enough, even when the smoke and spiderwebs of the morning cleared, there was my name on the document. Am I becoming one of them despite all of my best efforts?

Happily, the description that the mystery shopper gave of her experience triggered the memory of that particular transaction and I am absolutely sure that I should not have gotten 100%. I certainly did help her find what she was looking for and even suggested additional items within that category (because it happened to be a genre that I get particularly excited about and like sharing recommendations of good books that I have actually read), but I am absolutely sure that I did not recommend one of our key items to her (because why on earth would she want me to tell her about some crappy novel that I have never read when she came in specifically to buy a cookbook). Phew. I am still a terrible employee after all.